Call it mental toughness, having a thick skin, being a badass, or just having some serious emotional strength. These are all different sides of the same coin, so to speak. The point is, the basic rules I’m about to reveal below will create a mentality that is unbreakable, untouchable, and has the ability to achieve things in the face of diversity. These rules are in no particular order, but they are all important. So let’s dive in.

Do not assume a single thing in life. Ever.

I’m starting off with a tough one, but probably one of the most important. When I look back, assumptions have caused more trouble in my life than just about anything. Assumptions can lead to the misinterpretation of emails, messages, and conversation, a negative thought pattern which could make you believe facts that aren’t true, viewing a person in an undeserved bad light, the ruination of someone’s reputation (or even your own), and/or a bunch of other shit that you just don’t need in your life.

So the next time she doesn’t text back, don’t assume she’s just not that into you or that she’s being bent over and given the naughty treatment by some other dude. She could just be busy. Really.

Until you know the true facts, don’t attach meaning to or try to interpret situations that are in front of you.

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Take them for what they are and move on with your own life. I can honestly say that 95% of the time, whatever you assume will happen (especially if it’s the worst case scenario) is generally so far from reality that you’ll feel like a moron for even thinking about it. Or look like one in front of others if you talked about it.

What others think of you is none of your fucking business.

This one baffles me. Why do you care if you heard that so-and-so said such-and-such about you? What good will come of you becoming emotionally attached to the comments and criticisms of others? I’ll tell you what good it will do…absolutely NONE. Obviously I prefer when I get compliments (which is most of the time) but there are always people who have the need to spew useless garbage. You know what though? I take compliments in the same way I take nonsense – neutrally. That doesn’t mean I don’t appreciate someone showing gratitude, but I’m not about to let the comments of others dictate how I feel.

If haters talk behind your back, it’s only because you’re so damn far ahead.

You can’t move forward by looking back at the same time. Well you can, but it’ll only be a matter of time before you run into something that will knock you on your ass. I don’t see why you have to get worked up about the opinion of others, especially since everyone has one. You don’t get worked up about assholes do you? Because everyone has one of those as well.

Every failure is just a step closer to success.

Hot girl rejected you? Move on to another. Beauty is common.

Hot guy didn’t call you? There are plenty more where he came from.

Business deal fell through? Focus on closing an even bigger one next time.

I’m not sure when failure and emotion became mutually connected and attached at the hip, but this is utter nonsense. It probably has to do with the softness that is taught everywhere in schools these days. You know what I’m talking about – the “everybody is a winner” mentality. What a load of crap. In real life there are, and always will be, winners and losers, failures and achievements, highs and lows. The sooner you accept this, the better off you will be.

Failure isn’t something to be feared. It just means you successfully found a way to not achieve the result you were after. Also, not all failures are bad; “In 1856 William Perkin was trying to come up with an artificial quinine to help cure malaria. Instead of a malaria treatment, his experiments produced a thick murky mess. But the more he looked at it, the more Perkin saw a beautiful color in his mess. Turns out he had created the first-ever synthetic dye.”

His dye was far better than any dyes that came from nature; the color was brighter, more vibrant, and didn’t fade or wash out. His discovery also turned chemistry into a money-generating science, making it attractive for a whole generation of curious-minded people.

But the story doesn’t end there. One of the people inspired by Perkins’ work was German bacteriologist Paul Ehrlich, who used the dyes to pioneer immunology and chemotherapy.” [source: discovery.com]

So technically, Perkin failed to come up with a malaria treatment. What a loser, right?

Yeah, I think not. Stop attaching such a heavy, emotional, and negative connotation to the word. If something doesn’t work the first time, learn from it and try again. I’ll end this section with another quote.

“Failure is simply the opportunity to begin again, this time more intelligently.” – Henry Ford

You, and only you, are responsible for your happiness.

Materialistic possessions, the size of your bank account, society’s view of achievement, things that would make your mom proud of you – all that shit is the external idea of what should make you happy. But we both know they won’t. Otherwise there wouldn’t be depressed millionaires running around!

Now obviously, not all rich people are depressed. In fact, most are probably not. But I’m sure we’ve heard of just as many people that earn a “middle class” income but are happy as hell. The point is, it is up to you to find out what tickles your sweet spot and then design your life around it so that you stay happy.

Looking for the love of your life in order to make yourself happy is also dumb. It means that you’re looking for someone from whom you can “leech” the good feelings from, instead of adding value to their life. Don’t be some lame ass happiness vampire. Do what puts a huge smile on your face and no one will ever be able to break your spirit.

Follow through.

Nothing is more loser-like than quitting something you said you would do. Not that others care (unless it’s a group project of some sort), but it will eat away at YOU. And if it doesn’t, start giving a shit because it should. There are times where quitting something (poker) is a smart idea so you can move on to something better. But generally speaking you should always follow through with what you start. The feeling of accomplishment cannot be duplicated.

Another way to put this is…

Keep your fucking promises, or don’t make them in the first place.

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Reliable, dependable, loyal, and flake-free individuals are getting harder to find. So don’t add yourself to the list of the unwanted. If you’re the type that has a hard time with this concept, or if reading these words has inspired you to change your despicable ways, then the best place to start is by avoiding making promises you can’t keep. This will instantly increase your “reliability” since now, instead of working harder to accomplish everything you’ve said “yes” to, you can say “no” to things that aren’t worth your time. It is an engineering fact that the less moving parts a machine has, the greater its reliability becomes. Shed yourself of unnecessary weight.

If you don’t determine your self worth, others will do it for you.

The world will pay the price that you demand of it, but only if you believe it to be true. You can go all L’Oreal on my ass and tell me how you’re “worth it,” but if in your day to day life you let people walk all over you, then you’re just a glorified, talking door mat.

If, on the other hand, you truly believe you possess value then you will be treated as though you are valuable. Pretty simple concept, but takes time to pull it off. Look at yourself in the mirror and ask yourself what you’re truly worth. If it isn’t much, it’s time to start making yourself valuable. But do it for you – and others will follow. Do it for others to purely seek attention, and you’ll be called out on your bullshit.

Don’t be so damn serious all the time.

Mental toughness doesn’t mean you have to embody a military general leading his troops into the battlefield with the high possibility of death. That is just one form of mental toughness. But in day to day life, that can get tedious and, honestly, people like that are not fun to be around.

Chill the fuck out. You should know how to have a good time whenever, wherever. You know who suffers from boredom? Those that are mentally weaker than a foundation built on a stack of cards.

You must lose and win, like a winner.

Don’t blame the equipment, the players, or lady luck. If you lost, you lost. Accept defeat without letting it get to you emotionally and instead be inspired by the person who bested you. There are things in life I’m obnoxiously good at… (continued on the next page)

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