The Secret To Unshakeable Confidence In Any Situation

By: February 16, 2013 13 Comments
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I never thought I’d release this information to the world.

Yet here I am, about to turn the entire pretentious fitness industry tits up. If enough people read this, then most trainers will probably experience a client drop out ratio higher than any mid-town ghetto high school has ever seen.

Why?

Because half the reason people want to get in shape, is to recover from the pain due to a gigantic hole which is present in their self esteem.

They want society to accept or praise them.

They want people to pay attention to them.

They feel the need to be validated by their peers, etc.

From a trainer’s end, this shit is invaluable marketing ammo. In fact, it’s downright lethal. Not only can I promise significant weight loss and general health, but I can promise them a body that commands attention, respect, admiration and quite possibly, the ability to bang individuals that were generally considered “out of their league.”

And who wouldn’t want this?

Hell, I know I would, if I wasn’t already awesome. But truly confident people know a little secret that most others simply don’t – including some of the trainers themselves.

You ready for it?

When it comes to confidence, your mind and body are completely independent of each other. The way you look and dress has nothing to do with real confidence.

Now, unless you’re suffering from a neural breakdown from disbelief, you might be asking…

“What the heck is REAL confidence anyway?”

Good question! Look at you…paying attention and being all intelligent and shit. If only your face didn’t look like it was in a permanent state of constipation.

If that stung, you just experienced the faults of fake confidence.

See, just like tits, confidence comes in two distinct flavors: real and fake.

Fake confidence is based purely on external factors such as looks, money, inheritance of power, etc. For example, take a guy that has the body of a professional flower picker who is constantly harassed by bigger dudes and rejected by girls. Then get him absolutely jacked and now all of a sudden he now stands up for himself, doesn’t take shit from others, and ends up banging the quarterback’s girlfriend behind the principal’s office.

However, take away his gains and his level of confidence will drop right back to where it was – or maybe dip even lower and spiral the poor fucker into wrist-slicing depression. The only redeeming feature of fake confidence (like fake tits) is that it’s like a drug hit; the high can be achieved relatively quickly.

How many times have we seen men and women light up after a physical make over? Yeah, thought so.

Real confidence though, takes time and work to develop.

The amount of times I’ve gotten an email saying “FJ, if only I looked like you, I’d be able to do x,y,z…” – as if someone will magically notice my six-pack abs underneath a fucking shirt and become instantly receptive to me. This physical looks thing does not matter.

I’d still be me if I was a slob… I just wouldn’t be giving fitness advice. This little revelation is the kind of stuff most trainers don’t have the balls to say (in fear of losing business). Either that, or they have simply never bothered to study psychology. I guess this is why I exist.

So if real confidence doesn’t come from external circumstances, where does it come from?

In short, it comes from not giving a fuck. And the only way to not give a fuck is to separate yourself from self awareness. To achieve freedom from self awareness though, takes practice, and here’s why:

From the time you could speak and understand language until now, society has lathered you with bullshit amounts of pressure and expectations. You have been socialized in a way that is just not beneficial, in my opinion. Especially not when it comes to confidence, not even close.

You were told happiness comes from getting a job, being financially successful, buying items you don’t need, and a bunch of other shit a bunch of jack-offs came up with.

“Just like tits, confidence comes in two distinct flavors: real and fake.”
>> Tweet This Quote

You need to reverse this trend and break down all these layers of nonsense that have been attached to your ass over the years because underneath, everyone has experienced what it is to not have self awareness.

And here’s how I know – because we were all babies once.

Think about it, when a baby is crawling around, it has awareness (of the surrounding, people, stimulation of senses, etc.) but it doesn’t have self-awareness. If a baby bumps into a wall, it’s aware that it hurts and that you can’t walk through it, but it doesn’t give a shit as to what you think of it. It just gets up, shakes it off and tries something else; no self awareness, no complications.

Can you imagine what would happen if all babies had self-awareness from birth? None of us would have learned to walk from sheer shame of failure, and we’d all be crawling on our asses undergoing massive rug burns. Which means Pampers and Huggies would be the two most dominant companies due to a high demand on personal ass care.

Self-awareness and giving too much of a shit is the true kryptonite to confidence and we need to get rid of it ASAP. It’s time to be a baby again. It’s time to try new things, take some chances, experience the unknown without letting the external opinions and factors of others affect us so much. At least, to a certain degree.

Let it be known that getting rid of self awareness does not mean you need to get rid of common sense. Walking down the street, randomly punching someone in the face and pretending to not give a shit will land you in jail. But walking down the street in a funny hat because you think it’s cool or going to the gym because you want a body that is the epitome of physical perfection is fine.

In fact, I encourage it.

The rapper T.I summarized this concept perfectly in one of his songs when he says,“Unhappy with the riches ’cause you’re piss-poor morally”.

And it’s the same with fitness.

“Self-awareness and giving too much of a shit is the true kryptonite to confidence.”
>> Tweet This Quote

If you want to lose weight because you think you’ll feel more confident, you’re in for a nasty shock. The instant your weight fluctuates, your confidence will shatter like a dropped wine glass. Real confidence comes from being completely independent of your physical state, and the only way to do that is to get rid of self-awareness.

Trust me,  you don’t need it. It’s fucking useless.

About the Author:

Turns fat asses into good looking bad asses. Also a National deadlift record holder and the undisputed flip-cup champion. If you want to train under him, Click Here to fill out an application, and he just may consider working with you.
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  1. Tweets that mention FJ's Secret To Unshakeable Confidence -- Topsy.com | June 23, 2010
  1. Roy Kamen says:

    Workout music can also be a great motivator. Don’t forget to fill your iPod with great beats and motivating lyrics. The words can mean so much to you as you are in a suggestive state when exercising.

  2. Jamie says:

    Nice post. I’ve totally been of the same mind for ages regarding self defeating confidence. Not so much an issue with self awareness, perhaps, but being too overly concerned with the correctness of your actions, with how others may perceive your actions, being so concerned that it makes one think way too hard before taking action, or caues us to be way too careful. I’ve most recently gotten into the mindset of act now, apologize later (if necessary). Turns out that I never have to apologize to anyone but myself for being fearful and not taking action earlier.

  3. Confidence is internal no doubt, but I believe that a person who enters the room with appearance of confidence, whether they are or not, is the one who will draw the eyes. Entering a room with slouched postured, head hung low and rolled shoulders will win no one over. One thing that strength training teaches us is proper form. Roll that over to the real world and you have a winning ticket for making great impressions. Be well!

  4. GreenBeans says:

    What a wonderful post. Agree with you totally. I wanna be fit and lean because… I want to!

  5. p90x says:

    Don’t forget to fill your iPod with great beats and motivating lyrics. The words can mean so much to you as you are in a suggestive state when exercising.

  6. Terman says:

    A nice article with a great stuff of information, I really like that. This is really interesting site that gives huge of information to all readers thanks a lot.

  7. coach says:

    Thanks for the marvelous posting! I genuinely enjoyed reading it, you can be a great author. I will ensure that I bookmark your blog and will eventually come back from now on. I want to encourage continue your great job, have a nice holiday weekend!

  8. Crista says:

    so true dude, so true. Do you mind if I link to this post of yours in my own blog? Get that message out! Then we can all just work out cuz we like to feel energetic, bad ass and know we can hang off a cliff if we want to :)

  9. River says:

    The purcaehss I make are entirely based on these articles.

  10. afromuscle says:

    Wow, you’re the fucking man.

    This is so true on so many levels. I thought getting muscles would turn me into a Tyler Durdin of sorts. Someone who just didn’t care. Yet I still showed symptoms of my soon to be former self. Still seeking approval, still too self conscious and still to timid to just go ahead and do shit.

    This is the reason I love this site. Because you always deliver that bitter pill we all need to swallow.

    Cheers and keep up the good work.

    Dennis.

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