The Art Of Being A Real Man

By: July 30, 2010 23 Comments

This is for all the boys who are trying to be men.

For the men who’ve lost their boyish charm.

For the dudes who’ve had it tough.

And for the guys who’ve had enough.

What exactly constitutes as being a man? The answer to this question used to be brain dead simple a long time ago… in fact it used to be based on whether or not you had a pair between  your legs or not. Yet in today’s world where we have homosexuality, sex changes and cosmetic surgery… it’s a lot harder to answer. I ain’t saying there’s anything wrong with being gay or getting a sex change, that’s personal choice. But the true definition of a real man has been wildly distorted. There are too many variables, and therefore too many opinions. A single mom who raised her boy up to be a provider and the perfect gentleman might answer the question differently than a grandpa who was a war veteran.

So here, today, I will give you my thoughts on what it means to be a real man… along with some pointers on how to change your ways in case you’ve been turned into a walking, talking vagina.

(Ladies, you should have a quick read-through as well)

Stop Blaming Others & Quit Your Whining

Let me be blunt – when you fail at something, there is no one you should blame but yourself. A real man is a born leader and a leader takes responsibility when shit hits the fan. There should be no finger pointing, explaining or covering up. You shut up, own up and fix the situation if possible. If not, you just try your best.

Whining about your problems to your buddies is unacceptable (asking for advice is different).

If you were beaten, lose like a man. If you achieved victory, win like a man.
>> Tweet This Quote

Accept the reality of the situation and move along with your life… it’s not a big freakin deal.

I get plenty of emails from guys explaining the hell-hole they’re in. Or in other words, why they’re fat and miserable… and surprise, surprise, it’s almost never their fault. Someone else is always to blame. If you’ve let yourself go and now resemble a ball of lard, don’t bitch and whine and go sue Mcdonald’s because of the fat content in their burgers. It’s your own fucking fault… and the sooner you own up to it, the sooner you’ll get to where you want to be.

Oh and don’t try and find a way out of this either, because even in the most extreme and sensitive situations, it’s still your fault for letting yourself go. Let’s say, god forbid, a close friend or relative passes away. This would surely be a tough situation for anyone to be in, but let me ask you something… Would you stop brushing your teeth every morning? No. Would you stop taking showers? No. So then why the hell would you stop taking actions that benefit your health? It should be just as important.

Instability Is Not Manly

Too many guys are an emotional wreck these days and it pisses me off when I see a grown man act like a little bratty bitch on PMS. In fact, that’s an insult to bratty bitches everywhere… I doubt that even they are this emotionally unstable. I mean really, guys these days lash out, get angry and throw a sissy tantrum when they experience the slightest upset in their reality.

A girl blew off the date? I guess it’s time to throw your cell phone across the room. Grrr.

Didn’t get the job? Time to cry like a baby.

Your girlfriend won’t fuck you tonight? Time to feel sad and assume you’re not loved…

Give me a god damn break. As the species which has a higher level of testosterone, having rage and anger spikes is natural for men… but as a real man of today’s society, acting on these urges means you’re no better than an ape. Men are supposed to be the foundation of leadership others can lean on. The grass roots that others can rely and build on. And most of all, they are supposed to be the cushion when their woman losses it, and needs someone to fall on.


If I were to give you an imagery of what it means to be a stable man, think of a massive rock in the middle of the ocean. The water surrounding the rock is the female energy. When a storm hits and massive waves thrash against the rock, it’s not phased one bit. It’s solid, stable and can out last the rough waters till the storm dies away and the sunshine hits. That rock should be you.

Stand Up For What You Believe In

I don’t care what your beliefs are in this world… whether you’re a Sunday, Church-going Christian and a devoted family man or an Atheist that follows the life philosophy of sex, drugs and rock and roll (guess which one I am). Stand up for your beliefs without worrying about what others think of you. Too many men resemble a dirty, stank ass doormat – they let people walk all over them and aren’t solid enough to stand up for themselves when challenged. It’s kind of like watching a pinball, constantly being smacked around all over the place, only the points resemble the level of your dignity and instead of gaining them, you are losing them rapidly. Ding-Ding-Ding! We have a loser!

Now, if you don’t have any beliefs in this world, you are even worse off than the pinball man. Put your stupid life on hold, shut your pie hole, grab a piece of paper and write down the following “I believe…” and then underneath that, in bullet point form, write down everything you believe in and everything that is dear to you.

Do you believe in kindness? Cool, write that shit down.

Do you believe in an eye-for-an-eye? Good, make sure that’s on the paper too.

Once you have that list, repeat it to yourself day after day and be sure to practice what you preach. If you believe in kindness and see an old lady struggling with her groceries and you just decide to walk away, then you’re a pussy. Worse, you’re a fraud. So don’t write down anything you won’t act on.

Stop It With The Gentleman Bullshit

I might be a jerk, but I’m not an asshole. People disagree with me, but I still stand up for my opinions. So if you throw bullshit my way, don’t think I’ll suck it up politely like a gentle-man. Because what am I? I’m a man. Period.

A gentleman walks a woman down the street, asks her where they should eat, opens the door to the restaurant, seats her down, tells her that her dress is looking “lovely”, asks for what she’s having and then orders what he thinks might be socially acceptable and considered “normal”. When he drops her home that night, he’ll be sweating his balls off wondering if it’s OK to go in for a kiss because of course, no gentleman can handle being rejected. Best case scenario – a peck on the cheek.

Lame city.

A man on the other hand, grabs a woman’s hand spontaneously, says “let’s go over there, it looks awesome”, walks her down street, making sure he’s directly facing the direction of traffic should they get hit, opens the door for her, seats her down, leans into her ear and whispers “you’re looking so damn hot in that dress”, asks her what she’s having, and then orders a giant steak and a beer because that’s what he felt like eating. He then continues to play a fun game of footsies and teases her to no end by telling her she’s got a lil something on her face… which of course she doesn’t. When he drops her home that night, he’s spinning her around and go or no-go, he’s going in for the kiss. He’ll put his balls on the line and be completely transparent and open about his desires as a man.

Can you spot the difference? Because it’s a big one. control_your_life

In the Pussyfication of America, R.M.Lavengood states:

“To all the Pussy-boys clinging to their wives apron strings (purely an expression cause today’s women don’t need an apron to make a frozen microwave dinner) waiting for the wife to give them permission to speak because mom packed their balls in a jar and put them on the shelf next to his dad’s, never to be seen again…Shut the fuck up

… and I couldn’t agree more. Women have lately been wondering where all the real men went… and the answer is that they didn’t go anywhere, they’ve transformed into wussies. And this is my attempt to bring them the hell back. Why? Because the last thing I need during a guy’s night out is an overgrown cry baby who’s had a pedicure, his eyebrows perfectly shaped and doesn’t have the balls to have some real fun.

Later, chumps

About the Author:

Turns fat asses into good looking bad asses. Also a National deadlift record holder and the undisputed flip-cup champion. If you want to train under him, Click Here to fill out an application, and he just may consider working with you.

Comments (23)

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  1. FJ,
    Definitely agree with most of these points. It’s only going to get worse with the next generation as everyone grows up with a sense of entitlement nowadays. Everyone wants rewards but no one wants to put in the work.

  2. Dave Johns says:

    LOL what an ace post FJ. Couldn’t agree more my old tooter. I personaly think aliens have sprayed large parts of America with pussy juice in a bid to take over the world in 2014. I must add I maintain all film rights to this idea.

  3. Dave Johns says:

    FJ I’m writing the script now …. what about the title ‘The Day FitJerk Saved the Earth’ or ‘Invasion of the Pussy Snatchers’. I want you ripped man for this lead man. I think there could even be a mini series in this. Hell, I think I\’ll play the frikin President.

  4. Excellent article FJ. Your personalty and attitude is the shit! Good advice here.

  5. I like your idea of the writing things down to make sure you practice what you preach. Nothing worse then hollow words, bad examples, and hypocrisy.

  6. Jon Staff says:

    I’m a pretty regular user of fitmarker, so I’m real surprised that I haven’t read this article til now, but this is GOOD SHIT. I always enjoy reading the posts FJ, you tell it straight!

  7. Read the rest of my article FJ forgot to link to:
    The Pussyfication of America It can be found at
    Wake up to the gendercide and stand on your own two hairy legs. Declare your freedom from the grips of the Girlie-man trend that dear o’le single parent mom, with her best intentions has enrolled you in.

  8. Royce Geist says:

    Brutal but needed. Good post brotatoe

  9. Ben Lichtenberg says:

    Couldn’t have said it better myself.

  10. Real Men Don’t Eat Pussy. Why? Because they ARE pussies. And that’s all I have to say about that.

    FJ, great article. Who says men don’t tell the truth. Muhahha. Keep it up, bro.

  11. ThatRealMama says:

    As a woman, I want to give my feedback.

    I LOVE THIS. Every bit of it, from the stability, to standing up for what you believe in and being genuine, to owning your wins AND losses.

    Be you, and when you’re ready, find the real woman that loves you for being you.

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