A Guide To Fitocracy

By: October 13, 2011 13 Comments
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Do you get bored of tracking your workouts on the regular? Well good news, now there’s Fitocracy! It’s a fitness game that rewards your ungrateful ass for doing a proper, sweat-busting workout. You can level up, get points, unlock achievements, conquer challenges and all the nerdy things you can do with your xbox – but instead of getting fatter and more miserable, you’ll actually end up lean and sexy.

But there are two problems with Fitocracy. First, it’s in an exclusive beta stage right now, which means an average chump such as yourself can’t just walk into the party without an invite. Two, not too many people know how to use the damn thing. Not that it’s rocket science, but people need a visual guide. If only there was someone who could step up to the challenge and deal with these issues.

Well good news! As your personal ass kicker and saviour, I have not only created the most comprehensive flowchart that shows you how to use Fitocracy, but you’ll score an exclusive invite because the mere fact that you’re reading this has elevated your status from loser to average Joe (or Julie). The image below is a very zoomed-out version of the flowchart, so click on it to see the full thing. The invite link will be located on the right hand side.

The Flowchart

About the Author:

Turns fat asses into good looking bad asses. Also a National deadlift record holder and the undisputed flip-cup champion. If you want to train under him, Click Here to fill out an application, and he just may consider working with you.
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Comments (13)

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  1. Cord the Seeker says:

    Freakin’ hilarious, as always. Although maybe ‘you suck’ should feed back around to ‘did you workout today’ or something similar. Maybe a ‘do better tomorrow, ya pansy’ box, that then feeds back into the loop.

  2. Haha nice flow chart! I started using fitocracy a few weeks ago and it’s pretty motivating. I can see how it would be helpful for keeping track of your progress too, rather than just getting points and leveling up.

  3. Joey says:

    Would you ever do an eating challenge video? I ask since it’s amazing how alot of fitness professionals are doing it

  4. Thanks for this flowchart. Do you have any idea when this will be released for the general public? It’s something i might consider advising my clients to use if it’s any good.

  5. Tim says:

    My fitness coach sent me the link to your site. I’m going to try Fitocracy just for the hell of it. I don’t track much anymore using the mirror and my personal feel instead but tools can be fun from time to time so i will check it out. I like your blog about Steve Jobs.

  6. Megan says:

    Hey, thanks for the guide. It’s hilarious! I’m on the waiting list like everybody else, but excited to start getting credit for my situps.

  7. Evan G says:

    I’ve got 9 Invites left for fitocracy I’d be glad to give them out to the first 9 people that give me their email address.

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